Wednesday, May 30, 2012

My Motto

This makes me happy and really want to dance my life away on this rainy day. And I really want that dress!

What's your motto?

Much love.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I heart Music

Music makes me smile from the inside.  I don't this there is a single nonliving thing that impacts me the way music does.  It makes me feel passionately, reminds me of defining moments in life, helps me conquer long drives, bad days, beautiful moments.  It speaks to me.  Music is a universal language. Just like a smile. Or a tear. A laugh. A hug.

Last night I broke out my record player and listened to a little Johnny Cash "Thing Called Love" and after two rounds of that, I broke open my notebook with my ever growing list of songs "to buy."  On to iTunes I went.  I did not purchase a single song, rather I listened to the 60 second snippet of every song I wrote down and jotted notes as to whether it is worth $1.29 or not.  Most are worth it.  Tomorrow, the buying will commence.  Yay! 

Here is my's varied.

"Somebody I Used to Know" by Gotye Feat. Kimbra
"Give Your Heart A Break" by Demi Lovato
"Part of Me" by Katy Perry
"Dancing Away With My Heart" by Lady Antebellum

What/Who are you listening to these days?!  I'd love to hear about your taste in music.  This is just what I have been diggin lately...along with some Amy Winehouse, Adele, Ben Vaugh, the 80's group Blondies, and some World Cafe Live music which is varied.  Please share!

Much love.

Mini Bucket List Wk 2

So, this week is a short week because the weekend was nice and long!  I enjoyed mine immensely while relaxing on the beach, diving through waves, tending to my gardens, tromping around a strawberry festival and enjoying being outside a lot.  It was exactly what I needed. 

This week's list will be slightly shorter, but still ambitious.

1. Go to drinks and trivia with the girls!
2. Take Lira to the beach for a nightly stroll.
3. Pamper myself - paint my toes, wax my eyebrows, whiten my teeth, take a bubble bath maybe :)
4. Clean out my closet.  Not fun, but necessary.  It needs to be summertized and dewinterized.
5. Write a letter to someone who might need a little extra love in life. 

What are your 5 bucket list items this week?  I'd love to know.

Much love.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Prayers Please

My Gramma is really sick.  Please pray that the Lord does what is best for her.  We don't want her to suffer anymore than she already has, but we also don't want her leaving us sooner than she is supposed to.  Please just say a little prayer that God takes away her pain. 

I admire her strength, her loyalty to her husband, children, extended family and friends, her open mindedness and her pure intelligence and faith.  She is a woman wise beyond and ahead of her years.  We love her dearly!

She's a rock star!

Much love.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Mini Bucket List Update

Betty’s Mini Weekly Bucket List

1. Go on evening walks at least twice this week…company optional. Done and done!  Evening walks with my pup have always been very nice and needed.  This week, they were essential! 

2. Swim in the ocean & walk along the beach - I'm proud to announce that I completed both of these multiple times this weekend and they were wonderful!  The ocean felt so refreshing.  The sand was exfoliating and the sun made my super white body glow!

3. Edit photos from this weekend, PRINT them, FRAME them creatively, and BLOG about them. I’ve edited most of them, posted them on facebook and have blogged about some of them.  I think the Printing and Framing part of this goal is unrealistic at the moment because the week has taken a slightly different turn.

4. Try a new recipe.  I made homemade chicken and vegetable soup with homemade bread on Tuesday which was amazing AND I made this other chicken casserole thing which wasn’t that great.  Win some lose some.

5. Send out Mother’s Day cards with J-man’s baseball photo in it (Yes, I am horribly late with these. The presents made it, but the cards didn’t.) I sent them.  I'm ready for some laughs.

6. Send a present to a lovely friend who is expecting. Ok, so the package isn't in the mail yet (I forgot it today), BUT it is all packaged up with a sweet note! 

7. Enjoy a glass of wine, good music, fresh air and candles on the back porch. This one had a little twist to it.   I enjoyed a glass of wine, a good friend and cute big puppies TWO nights this week.  And I went to trivia with a bunch of girlfriends one night!  I’d say I’ve accomplished the “relax with a glass of wine” aspect of this goal and I am quite happy with the twist.

8. Smile…a lot. Even if it’s hard. Doing it.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

God loves you.

God loves you.  He will always love you. Don’t confuse this with God loving your actions because God does not love all of your actions.  This was the message that was enthusiastically delivered to my little sister’s group of confirmation candidates.   The bishop also spoke about the Holy Spirit descending upon the candidates and instilling in them special gifts, gifts that they will need in life.  These gifts are not generic, but rather extremely personal and specific to each individuals life purpose.  I felt special because I was reminded that I too have special gifts and while not everyone may appreciate me for who I am, I am this way for a reason and I should let myself shine and be confident in the woman I am, the beliefs I hold and the life I am creating.  The bishop did a wonderful job at connecting with the candidates and the entire congregation.  Regardless of faith or denomination, God loves us all and we are all special in our own unique way. It was truly a beautiful message.

Being confirmed is an extremely special moment for the confirmande and very emotional for the sponsor and parents.  I don’t know what came over me, but I was teary-eyed the entire Mass, but especially when she was Confirmed.  It was a very powerful moment for me. 

My little sister chose me to be her Confirmation Sponsor and I was beyond honored to fulfill that role in her life.  She is the sweetest, most genuine young lady that I know.  She’s free-thinking, has a silent confidence, is very independent yet is still in need of cuddles from her parents, and is extremely loving.  I admire her for being true to herself all the time.  She’s beautiful on the inside and out as you can see.

My family...well part of my them...proud of Miss Bonnie.   

Much love.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

A Little Inspirational Goal Setting

My mini bucket list.  This is an idea I saw on Kelle Hampton’s blog and fell in love with it.  As some of you either know, have deduced, or are in for a surprise…I AM IN A FUNK. a. bad. one. BUT, oh yes there is a but, I am determined to get out of it and I think a mini bucket list might be just the catalyst.  Since I love lists and pretty much function by them these days, when I saw Kelle’s mini week bucket list, I thought genius, why didn’t I think of that one?!?  Well, thank you for thinking of it for me Kelle; here’s to hoping it works.

Betty’s Mini Weekly Bucket List:
1.       Go on evening walks at least twice this week…company optional.
2.       Swim in the ocean & walk along the beach
3.       Edit photos from this weekend, PRINT them, FRAME them creatively, and BLOG about them.
4.       Try a new recipe
5.       Send out Mother’s Day cards with J-man’s baseball photo in it (Yes, I am horribly late with these.  The presents made it, but the cards didn’t.)
6.       Send a present to a lovely friend who is expecting.
7.       Enjoy a glass of wine, good music, fresh air and candles on the back porch.
8.       Smile…a lot. Even if it’s hard.
Do you have any mini goals for this week?  I’d love to hear about them.  You never know who you are going to inspire!
Much love.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Working Mama...Balancing

Working gives me a sense of success and professionalism.  Filling the role of a mama makes me feel loved and special in that "you're so cool and amazing" kind of way that only a little kid can make you feel.  Both are fulfilling and challenging in their own ways, but achieving a perfect balance is the hardest part for me.  When I feel that work is taking too much of me, I immediately feel guilty for not being there for my family.  When family issues are consuming my life and mind, I feel distracted at work and guilty for my lack of performance.   Feeling guilty is virtually a constant in my life.  Some blame it on the old "Catholic guilt," but I know that it's because I care and feel...I care immensely and feel passionately about a lot of people and things.  It's part of who I am and I refuse to change.  It's actually one of my favorite personal attributes, along with my legs.
Recently, it's been worse.  I have been feeling guilty regardless of what I do.  If I get into a book and want to read during all my free time, I feel guilty for not spending more time with my family and friends.  I know that I need to nourish myself, but I cannot seem to personally accept a balance that satisfies all my responsibilities to my personal standards.  Maybe I am perfectionist?  Ok, I am a perfectionist.  I am also extremely hard on myself.  You know the phrase, You are your own worst critic? Well, that was written for me. 
From as far back as I can remember, I punished myself more than my parents ever punished me.  I was grounded once for jumping on the sandbox lid and denting it after 5:15 Mass on Saturday evening.  My father yelled at my brother and I.  I sent myself to my room without dinner, cried my heart out, wrote "I'm sorry" notes to my parents, put them on their pillows, and put myself to bed.  My parents have zero recollection of this which blatently points out it wasn't a big deal to them.  I however, remember it like it was yesterday.  On another occassion, I recented a "point," or a demeritt as most kids would know them as, for forgetting to get a Science test which I received a 99% (because I spelled Jupiter wrong).  I was so scared and burst into tears as I gave the slip to my dad to sign.  He looked at it and said, "What's this?"  I explained it to him inbetween sobs and shrugged, said it means absolutely nothing to him, and signed it. Once again, I remember this and my pops doesn't.  I have always expected the best out of myself in the sense that I give 100% effort and truly respect life; when I fail, I beat myself up worse than anyone else could.  

Right now...I feel as if I am failing miserably.  I feel dark inside and I hate it.  This isn't the person I am.  I am a happy, outgoing, spontaneous, life loving, carefree, determined, optimistic, creative, goofy, sometimes crazy, competitive as all get-out,  music lovin get the idea.  Right now I feel dull, judgmental, stressed, heavy and as if I can't break through a shell that's holding me down.  It is a horrible feeling and it's been haunting me for months.  I have been praying for an answer and have been beyond emotional when all I want is to feel like myself again.  Every now and then I see the light and run straight for it, but I seem to only catch a few rays before being pushed back into a haze.

Some have told me that all I have to do is "let go."  While I would love to "let go," I can't seem to accomplish it. Some of the few things that allow me to escape feeling guilty or down are reading and dancing. Since both are good for my mind and body, I have been focusing on them more and more, but I have been trying to be aware of my responsibilities and families' needs. 
I want to be a great mama, wife, friend, daughter and employee.  I know I am doing my best despite anyone's opinions, but I also know that I am capable of much more and I strive to find that light in me.  After writing this, the light is flickering in the distance...I can feel it.  Let the marathon begin!  I'm up for the challenge. It's amazing how powerful writing is for me.

For the lovely ladies (Ania), that wanted to see my sweet New Orleans Easter Earrings!

Much love.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey

I've been a reading machine lately and recently I decided to leave my comfort zone and read a series that has women all across America whispering.  I first heard about Fifty Shades of Grey on Good Morning America a few months back and made a mental note to look into it.  Well, I looked into it and discovered that it is a trilogy - Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed.  Since I'm a sucker for trilogies, I went ahead and bought all three.  I was too embarrassed to rent them from the library.

The series follows a CEO with a troubled childhood, who favors the dominant and submissive sexual lifestyle, a college senior who is very inexperienced sexually, and their families through a story of learning to love, accepting people for the individual they are, and so on.  There is a lot of sex...raunchy this book, but there is also a very good story line.  Through the series, I learned a lot about different views of sex, the way a poor family life can impact a person for life, the need to be understanding and patient while also being firm in your beliefs and doing what you know to be right. 
It's a good series.  It took me less than three weeks to read all the books and they are 500+ pages each.  At one point, I was sick to my stomach because I was so involved with the characters.  I've never read a book like it, but I'm glad I went out of my comfort zone.
Feel free to ask any and all questions :) 
Much love.