Five Love Languages

Do you know what Love Language you are?  If you do, do you know what love language your partner is?  If you’ve taken then test, do you think you may have changed since the last time you took it?  We are all human and we are constantly changing.  I for one know that I am a very different woman from the woman I was five years ago.  I’m much more confident, I have different priorities, I’m still emotional, but I am more in tune with my emotions and I understand myself.  I still have a lot of growing and learning to do, but I’ve learned to embrace the woman I am and the relationship I am in. 

Sometimes we need gentle reminders to love others how they want to be loved.  We are all unique and need love to be expressed towards us differently.  My husband and I took the 5 Love Languages test over 3 years ago and it was eye opening.  It was completely accurate and we realized that we could love each other better.  I just took it again today to see if I scored the same and I did, so my love languages are holding strong. 

Love Languages are scored from 12 to 1 with 12 being the strongest love language for you.  I scored the following:

9 Quality Time

9 Physical Touch

7 Words of Affirmation

4 Acts of Service

1 Receiving Gifts

My primary love language is Quality Time, always has been and probably always will be.  In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says “I love you,” like full, undivided attention.  Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loves.  Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.  Quality time also means sharing quality conversation. 5lovelanguages.com The challenge arises when the person you are with is not the same love language as you are.  It’s hard to explain to someone how hurt you are when they are watching TV while you are talking when it doesn’t bother them in the least.  Ryan and I definitely struggle with this one at times because he is NOT a quality time person.

My second love language is Physical Touch and my husband is great at this one!  This language isn’t all about the bedroom.  A person whose primary love language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy.  Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.  Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.  Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship. Ryan and I share Physical Touch as our second love language, so we are pretty good at this one. 

Ryan’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation.  This is a struggle for me.  I have to constantly remind myself to give him words of affirmation more frequently than I do.  There are some creative ways that help me remember and let him know I love him without me actually speaking them.  I used to write him so many emails and send him cards all the time, but I haven’t done that lately. I definitely need to step up my game because I do love him and I want him to feel loved with all my heart. 

1. Think of something encouraging to tell your husband...and tell him in creative way. You could use a card, an email, a text message, or a skywriter in the clouds...your choice.
2. Go buy 4 “Thinking of You” or “I Love You” cards at a local store. Write out encouraging notes or love notes and give them to your husband...once per week.
3. Thank your husband for how he takes care of at least one specific need for you or your family. Be sincere and heartfelt.
4. Meditate on Proverbs 25:11, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Share your reaction to this verse with your husband and how you will be intentional about giving him more “words aptly spoken.”

If you or your partner want to take the test, click here.  It only takes 5 minutes and is quite eye opening.  It’s completely free and you get an email with detailed results! 

 

SPIL

+Loving with all your heart

+Bear hugs from your hubby

+Love taps on your booty

+A squeeze of your hand

+Passionate kisses

 

 

Much love.

Time for a Chop.

I need to cut my hair. 
Heck, I really want to cut my hair.
But I am so indecisive.
I wish there were wigs that I could try on.
I know it's hair and it will grow back.
But to have an idea of what I will look like with short locks would be nice.

 

I am thinking of having the longest strands at my collarbone and the shortest ones at my chin.  I will NOT be getting bangs because I'd like to look at least half my age.  Bangs instantly make me look 14 and I definitely don't want to go that route.  I may do the long angled bangs, but not traditional bangs.  The bigger question is, do I angle it shorter I the back and longer in the front OR do I do long layers and one general length??  Help!  This is me with my long straight hair:

This is a horrible picture, but you can see the length - bra strap length.

  These are my favorite options for my future chop-a-roo:

Option 1: Angled

Option 2: Keeping some length, long layers

Option 3: Shorter with long layers and long bangs

 

Option 4: Very close to option 3 with a side part (my natural part) and a little shorter

Please. Please. Please give me your honest answer.  Which one's your favorite for this round-faced brunette?!?

SPIL
+Quickly growing hair
+Foam rollers that loosen tight muscles.

Much love.

Stop Littering

Please.

Stop Littering.

It's selfish.

It's lazy.

It's flat out dirty.

It can kill.

 

I'm not perfect, but I don't litter and instead of preaching to you, I'm going to tell you an amazing story.  Brace yourselves because it's a good one and it's real.

 

This past Sunday my mom, dad, sister, brother, brother's girlfriend, the family dog and myself were fishing and hiking the creek when we heard the family dog barking, growling, and splashing through the water.  We immediately took off up the creek to see what was going on.  Bella, the family dog, was attempting to attack an 8-point buck.  Why wasn't the deer running?  Then we realized that there was what appear to be a rope strewn from a tree and across the creek that the deer's antlers were caught in and prohibiting the deer from running away.  We were able to get Bella away from the deer without injury to either the deer or our pup, but the deer was farm from calm.  Deer are strong. Antlers can spear the human body.  This was a sticky situation because we didn't have anything to cut the rope.  After debating about whether or not we should run back to the house or try to find a house in the woods, my brother decided to use his animal instincts and knowledge of deer.  He took his shirt off and slowly walked towards the buck that was now lying in the brush.  Slowly he was able to get close enough to the deer to put his shirt over the deer's eyes.  When deer can't see, they are very calm because they feel safe.  The deer stayed calm and my brother proceeded the sit on the deer and unwind the electric fence rope from the deer's antlers.  After a few minutes, my brother slowly stood up and walked away.  With that, the deer shook the shirt off of his face, looked around and took off into the woods.  He was free!  My brother saved him!  It was one of the coolest nature experiences I've every witnessed.  I am beyond proud and in awe of my brother.  It takes a special person to be able to do that. 

 

The electric fencing rope was over 100ft in length and was extremely strong; it is a tightly woven flat rope with wiring through it.  There was no way the deer was going to get out; his antlers were tightly tangled. 

 

Please stop the littering.  This rope probably came from a job site and was most likely no on purpose, but it trapped a deer and could have turned out far worse than it did.  Just be aware of your belongings and respect nature.  

 

Thank you from the deer community!

 

SPIL

+Brothers

+Deer

+Instincts

 

Much love.

A Visit Home

Home.  Ahh!  I absolutely love going home to parents’ house, seeing family, enjoying nature, catching up with best friends.  It’s a version of my heaven.  This past weekend was no exception.  Lir Lir puppy and I had an easy drive north, enjoyed an extremely colorful and sometimes blinding sunset on the Easter Shore, were greeted by a very excited and much larger pup the second we drove into the now PAVED driveway, and then we were embraced by my parents and younger sister as we walked in the door.  It’s so nice to come home!  The paved driveway was neighborhood news when it happened.  No one ever thought my parents would pave the driveway.  It’s never been paved and they have lived there 28 years.  Never say never.

Saturday morning Jamie came over with her dog and we have a puppy play date.  A huge yard that isn’t perfectly manicured is perfect for puppies to play in.  These dogs are puppies in age and dogs in size, so they can do some damage.  We had a few quarrels, but other than that there were just lots of running.  The weather was perfect so we just hung out at the picnic table and talked about life, love, vacations, work, you know the norm.  Sometimes perfect weather and good company is all the heart, mind and body need to thrive.  This weekend I enjoyed just those things with a huge dose of love. 

After some awesome friend time, I enjoyed some wonderful family time.  Bonnie had Soccer Day...yes, that's a day filled with soccer games and it is an extremely exciting time as a community soccer play because it is the one tournament of the season.  I used to love soccer day!  Bonnie's team came in second place.  They were so close to winning, but sluggish muscles won over and they failed to hold off the gold team.  



My sister is so pretty :)

 

 

In between soccer games we visited with my Gramma because her nursing home is literally next to the soccer fields!  It was perfect!  She definitely loved the company.  We took a nice walk outside and enjoyed the weather.  Fall is definitely coming because while it was sunny, Gramma was quite content in her sweater. 

 

She's such a strong woman, whom like many people her age, has suffered great loss and experienced monumental joys.  She is an inspiration to me because while she has very little feeling of her lower body, hallucinates at times, and is bed/wheelchair bound, she loves deeply, always has room for sweets and  speaks her mind!  She loves visitors and tells you straight up that she wants you to come back.  So, Saturday evening after seeing her twice that day, my little sister and I brought little lir lir puppy in for a surprise visit!  Gramma was sleeping, but in her words...I sleep a lot, just wake me up!! Time passes quickly when she has visitors and when she sleeps. Lira loved the visit just as much as Gramma did!  Gramma loves animals, especially cuddly ones and Lira loves to cuddle and be pet, so they make a perfect pair!  It was one of the sweetest visits I've shared with my Gramma and I wouldn't change that spur of the moment visit for anything.  She was happy.  I loved it.

 

Fall is coming!

 

 

 SPIL

+Grammas who speak their mind

+Small hometowns

+Flowers grown with love

+Huge puppy licks across your face

 

Much love.

Even Gumby has to Stretch.

 

Gumby, yes the little green super flexible guy, was my sport nickname when I was growing up because I could do back bend walkovers, straddles, splits, the pretzel, full upright leg extensions, you name it.  Flexibility has never been an issue for me and it still isn’t , but I have noticed that I need to stretch a lot more to maintain my flexibility. 

 

After lots of research, I have diagnosed myself with a strained IT band and believe the causes are not just from running a half marathon, but that coupled with my desk job and lack of extensive stretching.  Sitting allows your hips to tighten.  I always stretch my hips, but I rarely stretched my IT band and that was my big mistake.  I always felt the pain in the front of my hip, so I would rotate my hip out and loosen it up that way, but in addition to that, I should have been focusing on my IT band for sure.  It’s an extremely common injury in runners and cyclists.  Granted, I do not cycle, but I have been running a lot and I overlooked that band for sure. 

Since this revelation, I have been doing a few stretches that focus on my IT band.

·        First of all, I’ve been rolling my thigh with a foam roller and holy cow it was tight.  The first few times I did it, I literally couldn’t get through it without my eyes tearing up.  It was bad.  This morning was the first time that I rolled it and it actually wasn’t excruciating.  Praise the Lord!  I am making progress! 

 

·         The second stretch I’ve been working is the Pigeon.  It’s a yoga pose, it’s easy and it works.

Source: http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/863

·         The third stretch is a super common stretch and isn’t as effective, but it can be done standing up which means I can do it at work which means I am I using it.  Being able to stretch at work is vital for this leg of mine.  Basically, you stand with your “right/hurt” leg straight and you cross your other leg over it and either bend to the left or straight down. 

·         Finally, I’m doing this complicated stretch that can be found here:

 

For the worriers out there, I will be going to the doctors next week because I want to make sure that my self-diagnosis is correct.  I am 99% sure it is, but heaven forbid I am wrong and not fixing my knee.  I like my knees and really want to keep them in good shape. 

 

SPIL

+Lunch on a veranda

+Afternoon Lattes with whole milk

+Puffy white clouds against a bright blue sky

 

Much love.

Weak Knees

No, I'm not weak in the knees for a guy, although I'm always weak kneed for my hubby.  I literally have weak knees.  When I was 17 years old and a junior in high school, I tore my ACL in my left knee. On Sunday, at the age of 27, while running my first half marathon, a shooting pain started in my right knee...my good knee up until then.  Now lefty is known as my other bad knee. It only took ten years to ruin my knees.  Ok, maybe I am completely overreacting.  My left knee is doing just fine.  My muscles were still strong when I had ACL reconstruction.  My Other Bad Knee is recovering because I am babying it.  I ice it, use a foam roller on it, and have been hobbling around on crutches. 

Sad Face.

From my research (no I have not gone to a doctor because I'm stubborn and it's not that bad) I have a strained Ililotibial Band (ITB).  All the causes and the pain description line up pretty perfectly with ITB issues.  I was feeling hip pain around mile 10 prior to the knee pain and the ITB starts in the hip and runs down to the knee.  My muscles were tight.  I was running on pavement and the road was slanted. 

For the medical ones out there **cough cough Dad** I have full mobility of my knee, there is no swelling and there is no bruising.  I have been icing it, staying off of it for the most part, rolling it with a foam roller, and taking anti-inflammatory medication.  If anyone has any recommendations to sooth ITB issues, please let me know.

 

Thing is, I have a dance competition in less than three weeks and I really want to compete although I am fairly certain that I won't be able to.  I can walk on my knee, but any twisting is out of the question.  It's definitely a mental challenge to stay positive.  I am not perfect and I have been a little quieter...I've read three books in three days...but I am working on being mentally strong and recovering as quickly and as completely as possible.  I definitely don't want any permanent damage done to my knee, so I am being careful. 

 

SPIL

+Book Trilogies

+Making Christmas presents in September

+Children waiting at bus stops

 

Much love.



13.1

I completed my first half marathon on Sunday and it was great until it was horrible.  I felt great through mile 8, good through mile 10 and then it started going downhill from there. My hips started to really hurt around mile 10, so I stopped to stretch them out and then I realized just how tight my entire body was.  I started walking intermittently and then jogging, but it was too late.  I passed the mile 12 marker and was so happy, but then a shooting pain went through my knee and I was done.  I hobbled the last mile and was cursing my brains out on the inside.  It was so disheartening to get hurt so close to the finish line and only three weeks before my dance competition.  Oh heavens, I was an emotional mess on the inside, but I held it together fairly good…at least I thought I did until I saw the pictures.  My face says it loud and clear that I was about to burst into tears because my knee hurt and my dancing was going to be put on hold. I’m still not dealing with it well.

My best friend, Sarah, and I made this half marathon a goal for this year…a new year’s resolution in my book.  We went to bed around 11 the night before and I laid there wide eyed.  I was so nervous about the half and I was kicking myself for not falling asleep.  My brain would not turn off.  It was so annoying.  By the time I fell asleep, I felt as if the alarm was going off.  5AM came fast and so did this half.  I got up, splashed water on my face, changed into my running clothing, cooked some eggs and spinach, drank some coconut water, stretched and headed out the door.  We were met with a big old smack of humidity in our faces.  I believe we both moaned in disappointment at the same time.  We could literally feel the humidity on our skin.  It wasn’t good.  The 20 minute ride to the start was easy, parking was found quickly and we felt good about time.  That was until we saw the LONG bathroom lines.  We stood in line for 50+ minutes.  I will say that was the best 50 minute port-a-potty wait I ever decided to endure because if I hadn’t gone #2, I would have pooped my pants during this race.  Yes, it happens to runners, but I sure as heck didn’t want it happening to me.  We jogged over to corral 8 right before the Start Spangled Banner was beautifully sung and the race began. 

As I said, this was my first half marathon and by far my longest race ever.  I’ve only ever raced an 8k distance before and all my 8ks were either on trails or on sand, so the impact of the pavement was never an issue.  Granted, I had trained for this, but the slant in the road and the constant pounding was not to my benefit.  The first 8 miles were great!  I felt fresh. I was excited. The trees shading the road were a pleasant surprise.  The spectators were energetic and amazing.  The bands were entertaining and put a little pep in my step.  The water stations were frequent enough and I was feeling optimistic.  My doubts of my ability were fading with each step.  We were going a nice 10/10:15 minute/mile pace.  It was great! 

Mile 9-10 slowed for me.  I was feeling a little sick to my stomach and I thought that if I slowed a bit, I’d be able to recover and get rid of that nauseating feeling.  I slowed to about an 11/11:30 minute mile and it help my stomach, but by mile 10 I was starting to cramp.  I started chanting inside my head…

Mind over Matter.

Focus on your form.
You Got This Girl!
Breathe in for Three and Out for Three.
Don’t focus on your hip pain.

It didn’t work.  My hips were killing me.  I had to stop to stretch.  It was at that moment that I realized just how tight my entire body was.  Wow.  I’ve been tight before, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt as tight as I did in that moment.  I stretched and was back to pounding the pavement very slowly.  From mile 10 on in to the finish I felt pretty crappy, but it was mile 13 that killed me.  I passed the 12 mile marker and felt this sense of determination to run this thing out and finish it because there was no way I was ever running another half marathon.  About 12.25 miles, a shooting pain drove through my knee and I knew I was done.  The running was no longer a viable option.  I walked, jogged and had a look of disgust on my face as I finished that last mile and crossed the finish line.  Cross the finish line did feel amazing.  It was a flooding sense of THIS IS OVER!  PRAISE THE LORD! I DID IT!  That feeling was fleeting because I took one look at Sarah and knew she wasn’t doing well.  She finished ahead of me, but apparently had some issues of her own.  She was light headed and felt sick to her stomach.  We grabbed some waters and were corralled down the boardwalk…that was part of the problem. Sarah needed space.  We finally sat down, drank some water and both agreed we were never doing this again, but were glad we did it and we did it together.  I can officially check off “Complete a Half Marathon” from my Bucket List!  Yippy!  I love crossing things off lists! 

I think I have an IT band injury, but that’s for another post. This is a half marathon post, not an injury post.  I am on crutches though.  Pictures will be taken. Memories baby, memories.

SPIL

+Crossing items off your bucket list (especially hard ones)
+The connection of best friends
+Feeling like you can conquer the world
+Cold towels after a long run
+Music.  It moves me.

+Loving, Caring, Unique, Amazing friends

+Breakfast in bed

So, I totally need to add a little shout out to my hubby because he has been rocking it since I’ve been laid up.  I woke up to breakfast in bed after 10am!  That means I slept in and was fed without lifting a finger!  Oh have I died and gone to heaven!  He has been quite a stud mowing the lawn (which is my chore of choice), making dinners, buying me crutches, getting random things that I need, buying me chocolate.  Yup, he’s been sweet!  Thanks Baby!  Love you!

 

Much love.