Friday, September 13, 2013

Five Love Languages

Do you know what Love Language you are?  If you do, do you know what love language your partner is?  If you’ve taken then test, do you think you may have changed since the last time you took it?  We are all human and we are constantly changing.  I for one know that I am a very different woman from the woman I was five years ago.  I’m much more confident, I have different priorities, I’m still emotional, but I am more in tune with my emotions and I understand myself.  I still have a lot of growing and learning to do, but I’ve learned to embrace the woman I am and the relationship I am in. 
Sometimes we need gentle reminders to love others how they want to be loved.  We are all unique and need love to be expressed towards us differently.  My husband and I took the 5 Love Languages test over 3 years ago and it was eye opening.  It was completely accurate and we realized that we could love each other better.  I just took it again today to see if I scored the same and I did, so my love languages are holding strong. 

Love Languages are scored from 12 to 1 with 12 being the strongest love language for you.  I scored the following:

9 Quality Time
9 Physical Touch
7 Words of Affirmation
4 Acts of Service
1 Receiving Gifts
My primary love language is Quality Time, always has been and probably always will be.  In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says “I love you,” like full, undivided attention.  Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loves.  Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.  Quality time also means sharing quality conversation. The challenge arises when the person you are with is not the same love language as you are.  It’s hard to explain to someone how hurt you are when they are watching TV while you are talking when it doesn’t bother them in the least.  Ryan and I definitely struggle with this one at times because he is NOT a quality time person.

My second love language is Physical Touch and my husband is great at this one!  This language isn’t all about the bedroom.  A person whose primary love language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy.  Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.  Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.  Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship. Ryan and I share Physical Touch as our second love language, so we are pretty good at this one. 

Ryan’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation.  This is a struggle for me.  I have to constantly remind myself to give him words of affirmation more frequently than I do.  There are some creative ways that help me remember and let him know I love him without me actually speaking them.  I used to write him so many emails and send him cards all the time, but I haven’t done that lately. I definitely need to step up my game because I do love him and I want him to feel loved with all my heart. 

  1. Think of something encouraging to tell your husband...and tell him in creative way. You could use a card, an email, a text message, or a skywriter in the clouds...your choice.
  2. Go buy 4 “Thinking of You” or “I Love You” cards at a local store. Write out encouraging notes or love notes and give them to your husband...once per week.
  3. Thank your husband for how he takes care of at least one specific need for you or your family. Be sincere and heartfelt.
  4. Meditate on Proverbs 25:11, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Share your reaction to this verse with your husband and how you will be intentional about giving him more “words aptly spoken.”

If you or your partner want to take the test, click here.  It only takes 5 minutes and is quite eye opening.  It’s completely free and you get an email with detailed results! 
+Loving with all your heart
+Bear hugs from your hubby
+Love taps on your booty
+A squeeze of your hand
+Passionate kisses
Much love.

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