Tuesday, August 25, 2015

17 months & we have a positive

Back in November of 2013, Ryan and I went to Jamaica thinking it would be our last trip without kiddos, well it was, but that's only because we didn't plan one the next year, silly us.  We wrote in our Christmas letter that we were officially trying for a baby and believe me, I was bombarded by my aunts that Christmas!  We were excited, but looking back on that letter, I really wish we would never have said anything because it took a lot longer than expected.  After a year of trying and having fun of course, we decided to look into infertility.  Ryan was totally fine and I had a fibroid that was discovered during an internal ultrasound.  The doctors wanted to make sure it wasn't blocking anything, so I had an Saline Induced Sonogram (SIS) performed.  They basically put a teaspoon of saline into my uterus to make sure that the fibroid wasn't protruding into it at all and preventing implantation.  I actually cried as I watched it happen on the ultrasound screen. Every ultrasound throughout this process I cried.  There's something about ultrasounds and the possibility of seeing a little baby growing inside of you that makes me tear up.  It turned out that we are both completely healthy which was s huge relief, but also scary because the doctors basically told us that the next step was for me to take clomid, be given a trigger shot to ovulate and to have timed intercourse.  If you know me, you know I am a very natural person.  I don't take meds for really anything and I like it that way, so I freaked out.  

I picked up the prescription, never used it, and God blessed us with a positive pregnancy test that month! When I missed my period, I waited two days to take the test because I was  so scared to have a negative.  When it was positive and then positive again, I ran out to tell Ryan, but he was pulling away on his way to work.  Ahh!!!  I couldn't wait to tell him, but I knew I couldn't tell him over the phone or a text message.  It had to be in person, so I had to keep this little secret to myself all day long.

I actually had a newborn session that morning, went to it, loved on that little baby boy, and didn't say a word.  I got home, put a little package together of a onesie and the positive pregnancy tests, and then I waited.  Ryan came home and was really worked up about something; I can't really remember because I wasn't listening. Yes darling, I normally remember everything, but I simply didn't care at that moment because I had the best surprise ever for you and I knew whatever you were complaining about didn't matter as much as the news I had to tell you.  Once Ryan was done venting, I told him I had a present for him.  He looked at me funny, opened it, looked at me with a huge smile on his face, picked me up and spun me around!  It was heavenly!  I just remember crying and smiling and hugging and Ryan touching my belly!  **This is August 28th 2016

Ryan thinks that the extreme lack of stress from quitting my corporate job for real in March is what did the trick and I can't really blame him.  I think that coupled with the SIS, having more time for family, friends, working out, reading, etc. did the trick!  We definitely had our ups and downs during the 17 months both emotionally and physically, and I definitely tracked everything for a couple months, got discouraged and stopped tracking everything for a couple of months, read lots of books and blogs, cried, got frustrated and the list goes on.  We had discussed the possibility of never having children together and knew we would be ok because we love our life together and we could embrace that life and love together.  Taking the stress of "we need to have a child together" out of the equation was huge for us.  I know that in the grand scheme, we had it easy compared to a lot of couples and I am truly grateful for that. I pray for everyone facing infertility and challenging pregnancies.  

In early May, before extended family and the social world knew a thing, Ryan and I took a trip to The Players Tournament  in St. Augustine, Florida!  It was a wonderful golf trip and I felt pretty good the entire time aside from the 9 hour drive and the random nausea and constipation.  Seeing Tiger and Rory and DJ and all the guys up close and in person was absolutely amazing!  We walked an average of 8 miles per day and made sure to stay super hydrated!  It was a really really nice babymoon that wasn't originally planned as one.

We kept it our little secret, for the most part, until our 7w1d ultrasound on May 20th where we heard our little baby's heartbeat for the first time and saw our peanut wiggling around!  I cried all over again!  It was heavenly!

Our precious baby's first gifts were from Gramma and PopPop, my parents, and they are super cute! I cannot wait to cuddle and read to our bundle of joy this January!  That blanket is so soft and will definitely be used a lot!

Much love.

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