Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Deciding to S.P.I.L

I'm an emotional girl. 
It's a fact.
This song is me to a T.  I believe I warned my hubby long before he was anything more than a crush.  Actually...I'm pretty sure I showed him through tears, intense laughter, heated debates, and lots of love.  Emotions are awesome and a total pain in the rear all wrapped up with a huge bow. 
This week...really last night and today have been highly emotional for me.  I'm feeling extremely lonely and missing my little man a ton.  Bad combination.  I cry.  I talk. I try to rationalize and explain. I cry some more. I get quiet. I cry.  Yea, I do a lot of the crying or on the verge of crying thing.  Oh it's hell.  I feel sorry for the people that have to deal with me, but I really wish they could realize that they are only getting a glimpse of the pain I am feeling on the inside and that I am the one who truly is bearing the brunt of it all.  I don't cry because I want to or because it's the easy thing to do.   I cry because it's the only way I know how to release some of the pain.  Crying is therapeutic for me.  Just let me do it.  Let me lock myself in my closet and sob.  I might be quiet for a bit afterwards, but believe me, I feel better.  I feel lighter.  Needless to say, I cried this evening.  I'll probably cry again soon, but I'll be ok.  I always am.  I'm not scared of crying.  I'm emotional and proud!
Crying helps me shed sadness from my core.  Focusing on the simple pleasures in life also help me refocus, revamp, and simply be happy.  In an effort to be happier in life and really embrace the little joys, I am going to add Simple Pleasures In Life aka SPIL to the end of each post.  I think it's fitting.  SPIL the positive to defeat the negative.  I got this idea from a book I found on Amazon called 14,000 Things to Be Happy About and from a friend's comment in IG (@xsarexbearx).  I posted a picture of an excerpt of this book and she thought the list was written by me.  It got me thinking...why don't I start my own list?  I love lists.  I love writing.  I love being happy. It's a perfect fit.  Then on the way home from work today as I was about to burst into tears I decided to focus on coming up with a name for this list.  Tears starting to spill and BAM it hit me.  SIMPLE PLEASURES IN LIFE...SPIL!!  Sold. 

SPIL (1-8)
+Puppy snuggles.
+Packing gifts for a friend and new mama who has moved away.
+Authentic tacos with cilantro.
+Picking tomatoes from the vine.
+Inappropriate old men.
+Manual transmissions, sunroofs, and rockin music on your drive home from work.
+Falling asleep to rain pattering on the roof.
+Lavender Lemon candles.

Much love.

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