Tuesday, September 18, 2012

25 Ways to Stay Calm...

So, I was browsing Pinterest and I came across this...25 Ways to Stay Calm as a Parent and I was instantly drawn to it because I feel as if I am not the calmest parent in the world....I worry a lot.
 

I was actually surprised to see that I did a lot of them because I think I am a pretty high-strung mom at times.  Not having any influence in little man’s life for the first 7 years is a challenge.  I expect certain things and consider them normal such as chores, not talking back, respecting adults, etc. but when those things weren’t instilled at a young age, they aren’t commonplace.  It’s a constant challenge for me.  I was raised one way, my husband was raised another and his son a third.  We have a unique dynamic.  I could care less about kids being dirty, but if I ask you to do something, there’s no negotiating, you do it.  I’m the silent punisher…silence is deadly with me.  My husband is much more the loud voice disciplinary.  He wants clean kids and tends to be open to negotiating.  It’s frustrating at times…  I’m also not home nearly as much as I used to be since working, so I don’t have as much of an influence.  It’s a learning process.  I think it may be that way for most parents, but I imagine it being way easier when you have a child together that you raise from birth as opposed to acquiring a child at a much older age… Heck, I don’t know.  I’ve only experienced the stepmom role, so I can’t really make any comparisons.
So, back to how to stay calm...
Inspirational Reading – I read a lot.  Inspirational reading isn’t my style, but reading for enjoyment is, so I guess in a way, it is my version of inspirational reading.  I am certainly escaping into a good book which is plenty good for me.
Working Out – Heck yea!  I have that one down!  Between running and dancing, I think I get a decent amount of working out in a week!  Would I like more? Yes. Would that require me either quitting my job, failing as a wife and mother, or more hours in the day? Yes. I’m just going to be happy with the amount of working out I get in on a weekly basis.
Waking Up Early… Epic fail.  I am the snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze, I have 2 more minutes, snooze, I don’t really need to shower, snooze, kind of person.  It’s annoying as hell to my husband.  Sorry L  I really like my sleep.  I did really enjoy getting up early and running so maybe I should start doing this again.  It would definitely offer some much needed and much loved quite, alone time.  Gotta be honest, I don’t have high hopes for this one.
Cleaning – I always said cleaning was therapeutic for me and what-do-ya-know this blog says the same thing!  Golly, I’m a smarty pants!  See honey, I wasn’t lying when I said a clean house is a happy house i.e. a clean house is a calm wife and that makes for a happy house!  I should clean more.  Tonight, the master bath and bedroom will be spotless.
Meditation/Praying – Every single night I pray the rosary.  Ive made a promise to myself and a promise to some very close friends that I would pray for them daily and I am a woman of my word.  I may drift off in the middle of my 15th Hail Mary or Our Father or random conversation with God, but He knows whats in my heart and He hears me loud and clear.  I pray when I drive.  It truly keeps me calm, especially in poor weather or when other drivers and being rude.  I really enjoy chatting with God. 

I need to focus on remembering that there isn't a code for a perfect parent because each child is unique and each family has its own special dynamics.  Are there general guidelines to good parenting? Yes indeed.  Do parents overreact at times and handle situations with less poise than they'd like to admit at times?  Yes.  Does that make them a bad parent? No, it makes them human. 

I have a very high standard for myself and lately I have been failing miserably at it.  I am pretty good one on one with little man, but I feel as if when we are in a family unit I falter.  I am having a difficult time predicting how husband is going to handle a certain situation and it makes me tense.  Since I've been working much longer hours than husband and dancing two nights a week in preparation for a competition, I have had less impact in little man's day to day life.  It's not good.  Once October comes, I will have more family time, but I fear I won't fit in the way I used to.  If you can't tell, my mind is in a million places at once and I am a worried mess.  Lord, Oh Lord, I need a vacation...a mindless vacation. 

Finally, I need to be more affectionate.  I have really closed that part of my life off lately and that is sooo NOT who I am.  It's a protection mechanism for me, but it is eating away at my core and making me really sad.  I've recognized it, but I am having a hard time digging it back up and making hugs and kisses and affection part of my daily life again.  It sounds horrible and believe me, it is.  I hate it.  I really needed to just get that off my chest and admit it.  Hopefully my free loving spunky self will reemerge in the near future.  Praying big time.  

Moral of the story, there are some great suggestions in the above post, but each family and each parent has to figure out what works best for them and their family.  We are all unique and we are all doing the best we can and that's pretty darn awesome. 

P.S.  Thanks for listening.
Much love.

2 comments:

  1. I love this post and your introspection. I also love that you set goals but are honest about the expectations you hold for yourself. I think you know what you're ready to handle and how much you'll do in order to handle it. Tackle what you know you can; you won't fail. I'm thinking of you.

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    1. Thank you :) I really appreciate every single word you wrote.

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