Sunday, November 6, 2011

Kids Can be Mean.

Did I ever gang up on a kid?  Honestly, I wasn't in the cool club so I didn't do that.  At school, I was picked on, but I was never singled out because I always had a friend or two to play with. At home, while I didn't live in a neighborhood, I never had issues with my friends.  We always played together regardless of age.  Sometimes it would be boys vs. girls or sibling rivalry, but it was all in fun and never lasted more than a few hours.

Since becoming a stepmom, I've realized how mean kids can be.  There are a handful of boys in J-man's grade and they have all decided that he can't play with them.  What?!?!  He was allowed to play with them for the first month or so of school.  The kids loved being at our house, but all of the sudden, he isn't cool enough for them.  Grrrr.  I am upset. I don't know what to do aside from love Jared and try to make it as fun for him as possible at home.  Suggestions please!

The worst part of this whole thing is that he is so sad.  Kids are supposed to be kids and have fun.  He is a great kid and pretty darn cool in my opinion, so I don't understand why he isn't cool enough for them and considered a dork.  I am really scared that this is going to affect him in school and I don't want that.  We are trying to teach him that it is cool to do well in school and that it is better to have a few good friends then a bunch of fake friends.  The latter is a hard lesson to learn when you are a little kid and just want to play with friends outside. 

My heart is breaking.  When thi started, we went home to my parents, so that he could get some good kid play time with my sister and his cousins!  It was wonderful!  Maybe having siblings makes all the difference.  I always had someone to play with or bug because I was one of six kids.  Being bored wasn't really an option even if I thought I was bored and bullying wasn't tolerated, so we played, sibling fought, still loved each other regardless.

It's also hard because I have so much school work to attend to (I took a break from that to write this post because I needed to get it off my chest). Any advice anyone has is appreciated.  Bullying stinks and while this is only minor, it scares me because these boys are only 9 years old. 

much love.

5 comments:

  1. Oh, Sarah, this makes me so sad. I wish I could offer some sage advice, but I struggled with this just like you are. I remember having one child get off the school bus and burst into tears because kids had written mean words in the frost on the bus windows. My prior advice to walk away was obviously impossible because they were trapped on the bus. So what did I do? I took off running down the road after the bus like a mad woman!! I was so upset and I can understand your frustration because at that moment I just wanted this torment to end! I will say that I have found certain classes are worse than others. I would speak privately to Jared's teacher and she can address friendship and kindness in school without singling out Jared. Also, your advice to him to have one or two close friends is perfect. Most of the kids in our family have followed that path and these friends are friends for life! Maybe tell Jared that Bonnie is not in the popular group at school, either, but she has a couple really close girlfriends. There must be some other boy(s) that are not in the inner circle that he could play with and then not feel so left out. I am so sorry and remember...each class is different. This may just be the chemistry of this class. Give him a big hug and tell him I love him! Love you, Mom

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  2. Kids are extremely mean these days. It's because family values and morals have gone to pot! I blame too many working parents that have kids that they really can't afford or decide that being home isn't useful of their time. You will encounter this over and over and over. It just plain sucks. Due to different circumstances, we ended up pulling our oldest from public school and started homeschooling. While doing this, we have come across SO many other parents that do the same. And ya know what?! ALL their kids are absolutely AMAZING, RESPECTFUL, helpful, grateful and unspoiled or UN-societized if you will. ~I think I just made that word up, but it totally works for me, so we'll just go with it. Okay? Good.

    Keep him around family and cousins, keep reinforcing that it IS good to have good grades and that having one or two GOOD friends is WAY better than a bunch of fakers.

    Give Jarod a hug from Aunti Lina (aka: Miss Angelina) and tell him that both Dusty and Taylor have had the exact same issues with troublesome kids over the years.

    Next..start having so babies and give him playmates! lol!!!!!

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  3. I SPELLED his name wrong! SHOOT!!! FIX that for me would ya! I suck. =(

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  4. Thanks Darling! I will pass on your love to him! He will appreciate it!

    My mom actually homeschooled my brother because he needed help in reading (and was getting picked on for his weakness). The homeschooling group that they joined was absolutely amazing! Generally kids that are homeschooled are extremely nice and genuine people...at least all the ones that I have met. I was unsocietized per say as a kid and I had a freaking amazing childhoog!

    I know, I know, we need to have babies and we WILL, just not today. If I don't work a bit, I will go crazy because I just worked my butt off to get my Masters.

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  5. Sorry to hear this, BUT this is just how it is in the school system....there is always the popular group, and most kids want to belong and usually it's one kid who's in charge. Jared just needs to find a friend who's not in that group and he will. He's only been there a few months. When i worked in the school system, i saw this all the time and teachers know it's out there. Most of the popular kids arent that nice anyway, he will find a less popular friend that he can keep for many years and it will always work out, sorry, but we cant pick out kids we want our children to be friends with.

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