My Boss Quit.

I wrote a post a few weeks back that alluded to lessons I learned from work.  Well, in a nutshell, my boss gave his two weeks’ notice and from there work took a rapid downward spiral.  Then I went to Jamaica, celebrated Thanksgiving and now I am back at work without a boss.  It’s a catch 22.  When everything was jiving, my boss was phenomenal.  When things were going to great either personally or whatever, things were horrible.

Note to Self: Keep your personal life out of work. 

I know that it is hard to do especially when you have “friends” at work.  They need to be on the same page and keep personal things out of the workplace.  It’s possible.  I’ve definitely not excelled at it in the past, but I am going to be working on in the future. 

I thought work was busy a few weeks ago.  Well, Boy O Boy was I wrong.  Now I know what busy really is…or at least a more busy version of what I thought busy was.  I am fried after a mornings worth of work because I am digging through files to figure out where on earth numbers are coming from.  There is no rhyme or reason and I’m not a fan of spreadsheets that aren’t linked, have no instructions, and have an insane amount of repeat information.  Processes will be streamlined in the near future for sanity’s sake.

Happy HUMP Daaa-yee!

 

Much love.

I'm Normal...according to a health screening

My place of employment is kind enough to offer health screening twice a year for all employees.  I’m pretty sure they get a discount on their health insurance plan based on the results, but regardless it’s a perk in my mind.  I love to know my current state of health without going to the doctors.  I don’t even remotely enjoy going to doctor’s appointments.  The waiting room is full of germs and I always feel like I sit there for far too long.  The nurse weighs me and it’s always 3+ lbs more than any other scale I’ve gotten on in the past month. I wait for the doctor….and wait.  Doctor comes in, does a few things, says a few things, and is out in less than 5 minutes.  I rarely feel better after leaving.  Just not my idea of a good time.  Anyways, being able to have my Blood Pressure, Cholesterol, BMI, and Blood Glucose measured, while never stepping foot in a doctor’s office is right up my alley. 

So how did I measure up?  I’m NORMAL.  WooHoo!  Who woulda thunk? 

Cholesterol

Total Cholesterol: 130 MG/DL which is good because I should be <200 font="">

HDL Level (Good Cholesterol): 75 MG/DL which is good because I should be >40

LDL Level (Bad Cholesterol): 64 MG/DL which is good because I should be <130 font="">

Total Cholesterol/HDL Ratio: 2.4 MG/DL which is good because I should be <4 .0="" font="">

Blood Pressure & Temperature

130/77

That top number (systolic) is a little high.  It should be below 120.  Might be those dark chocolates and Punk’N Beer I had last night…or the yogurt I ate this morning absentmindedly.  Oops. The bottom number is fine though.  I’m below 80, not much, but I’m below.  My blood pressure has always been on the high end when compared to my healthy lifestyle.  Ironically, my temperature has always been on the low end.  I take my temp every morning and it ranges from 96.9 and 97.8 without fail.  That’s about a degree lower than the average 98.6 that I grew up hearing.  Recent research is indicating that the new “normal” temperature is actually lower than traditionally thought.  Studies indicate 98.2 as the new norm and that as we age, our temperature actually drops slightly.  Interesting… I think I’m evolved!  Hehe!

BMI: Body Mass Index

I should be between 18.5 – 24.9 and I am 21.2, so I am right on point.  Women tend to have a slightly higher BMI, but regardless I am happy with where I stand because I definitely used to be higher that 21.2.  Baby steps.

Blood Glucose

For eating a lot of fruit and having quite the sweet tooth, I am normal!  Whoop Whoop!  I was minorly shocked when I heard that because I definitely ate chocolate last night. You gotta have your little indulgences now and then.

My overall mottos:

I workout so I can eat.

I eat healthy most of the time so I can enjoy sweets some of the time.

When it comes to food, moderation is key. 

Oh and I got this nifty antibac pen.  It kills 99.9% of bacteria with 24 hours. The protection lasts the lifetime of the pen, Helps prevent the growth and spread of bacteria. Effective against viruses, fungi, and bacteria.  Antibacterial additive molded directly into the plastic body of the pen...Interesting... Have you ever seen one? 

Much love.

Receiving Criticism

It's performance review time at the coffee company and regardless of how strong your performance has been, there is the dreaded opportunities section.  The section where your boss tells you were you have room for improvement.  There is no way that this section is an extremely pleasant experience for anyone, but by God, I do my darndest to make the most out of it.  Hearing constructive feedback from your boss (or anyone) can be challenging, especially when they hit the nail on the head.  My boss sent me my review to read over prior to our meeting, so I knew what I was walking into.  Don't worry, it wasn't bad. 

 

I will say that I read my review and thought two things:

1. Wow, my boss knows how to glorify my accomplishments which makes me super happy.

2. Ugh.  He knows my weaknesses too well...I need to be better at hiding them.

 

It's easier for me to receive feedback that I don't already know that I need to work on, but hearing feedback that I already know I have to work on is just a bit more difficult to hear.  I tend to get very defensive, but I'm going to pat myself on the back because today I didn't get defensive.  I listened and discussed and asked for ideas on how to improve.  Holy humbling experience batman.  It wasn't easy, but it was a learning experience and I learned.  I listened.  I cared. I discussed. I learned.  Now it's time to act. 

This wasn't me, but it's funny to me!

 

SPIL: Simple Pleasures In Life  (9-13)

+Cobalt blue and neon yellow running shorts

+Breakfast for dinner

+Refreshing coconut water

+Listening to Mr. Johnny Cash on vinyl.

+Honesty

IG @xsarexbearx
#SPIL
 

Much love.

Working Mama...Balancing

Working gives me a sense of success and professionalism.  Filling the role of a mama makes me feel loved and special in that "you're so cool and amazing" kind of way that only a little kid can make you feel.  Both are fulfilling and challenging in their own ways, but achieving a perfect balance is the hardest part for me.  When I feel that work is taking too much of me, I immediately feel guilty for not being there for my family.  When family issues are consuming my life and mind, I feel distracted at work and guilty for my lack of performance.   Feeling guilty is virtually a constant in my life.  Some blame it on the old "Catholic guilt," but I know that it's because I care and feel...I care immensely and feel passionately about a lot of people and things.  It's part of who I am and I refuse to change.  It's actually one of my favorite personal attributes, along with my legs.

Recently, it's been worse.  I have been feeling guilty regardless of what I do.  If I get into a book and want to read during all my free time, I feel guilty for not spending more time with my family and friends.  I know that I need to nourish myself, but I cannot seem to personally accept a balance that satisfies all my responsibilities to my personal standards.  Maybe I am perfectionist?  Ok, I am a perfectionist.  I am also extremely hard on myself.  You know the phrase, You are your own worst critic? Well, that was written for me. 

From as far back as I can remember, I punished myself more than my parents ever punished me.  I was grounded once for jumping on the sandbox lid and denting it after 5:15 Mass on Saturday evening.  My father yelled at my brother and I.  I sent myself to my room without dinner, cried my heart out, wrote "I'm sorry" notes to my parents, put them on their pillows, and put myself to bed.  My parents have zero recollection of this which blatently points out it wasn't a big deal to them.  I however, remember it like it was yesterday.  On another occassion, I recented a "point," or a demeritt as most kids would know them as, for forgetting to get a Science test which I received a 99% (because I spelled Jupiter wrong).  I was so scared and burst into tears as I gave the slip to my dad to sign.  He looked at it and said, "What's this?"  I explained it to him inbetween sobs and shrugged, said it means absolutely nothing to him, and signed it. Once again, I remember this and my pops doesn't.  I have always expected the best out of myself in the sense that I give 100% effort and truly respect life; when I fail, I beat myself up worse than anyone else could.  

Right now...I feel as if I am failing miserably.  I feel dark inside and I hate it.  This isn't the person I am.  I am a happy, outgoing, spontaneous, life loving, carefree, determined, optimistic, creative, goofy, sometimes crazy, competitive as all get-out,  music lovin gal...you get the idea.  Right now I feel dull, judgmental, stressed, heavy and as if I can't break through a shell that's holding me down.  It is a horrible feeling and it's been haunting me for months.  I have been praying for an answer and have been beyond emotional when all I want is to feel like myself again.  Every now and then I see the light and run straight for it, but I seem to only catch a few rays before being pushed back into a haze.

Some have told me that all I have to do is "let go."  While I would love to "let go," I can't seem to accomplish it. Some of the few things that allow me to escape feeling guilty or down are reading and dancing. Since both are good for my mind and body, I have been focusing on them more and more, but I have been trying to be aware of my responsibilities and families' needs. 

I want to be a great mama, wife, friend, daughter and employee.  I know I am doing my best despite anyone's opinions, but I also know that I am capable of much more and I strive to find that light in me.  After writing this, the light is flickering in the distance...I can feel it.  Let the marathon begin!  I'm up for the challenge. It's amazing how powerful writing is for me.

For the lovely ladies (Ania), that wanted to see my sweet New Orleans Easter Earrings!

Much love.

Espresso

My new afternoon pick-me-up is an espresso made by yours truly!  Working for a coffee company sure has its perks, such as fulfilling my dream of being a barista! 

And the purple mouse is courtesy of my boss who's always looking out for me!  It's the little things that make my smile.

Work is going well...really well.  It was a rough beginning for me, but I am getting into the swing of things, understanding the dynamics of the company, and slowly making a name for myself.  It's challenging in ways I wasn't anticipating and I am able to use my knowledge of economic forecasting and trend analysis, which is a glorious to me!

Much love.   

Much love.