Baby, It's Cold Outside...Come Keep Me Warm!

The day has come, my husband is coming home! 12:02 AM on December 20th, 2010, I could officially say phrases like I'll see you in a few hours, Can't wait to jump into your arms TODAY, What do you want for dinner?, Kiss me, I love you (to his face), and the list goes on and on! After 7 months of being alone and surviving quite well, it was surreal to think my husband was coming home and things would change, laundry would double, the closet wouldn't be all mine, dinners had to be thought out and a bowl of cereal was no longer acceptable...and then thoughts of how much have I changed? how much has he changed? are we going to be ok? will be we awkward (you know what I'm talking about)? Are my lips soft enough? And then the pleading with God starts...please Lord, let everything fall into place, grant me the patience to handle anything that may come my way... and then the sleepless night...If I got 2 hours that night or should I say early morning I'd be slightly shocked.

6am rolled around much to slowly, I showered, weighed myself and jumped for joy!!! I weighed 115 lbs! Ahhh! I guess finals and cleaning like a crazed woman helps to drop the last few pounds! Needless to say, I was feeling sexy when I slipped into my tight, and I mean tight, leaving little to the imagination homecoming jeans, my new perfect boots, my blue silky shirt, red pilot-style jacket and my white scarf (red, white and blue!!!) Eating was not an option... The drive to the base was easy as I jammed out to Apple Bottom Jeans and some Pink! (It was on the radio and I was happy!)

Sooo....at 9:30am-ish the pier looked like this....Empty

And I looked like this...Excited!

(Like my sign? It says, "Ryan, I love you!" and then in the heart it says "I can't wait to get you home!" and then there are some little inside jokes on it!) I wanted to stand out a bit!

Oh and Turps came too! It was so nice to have someone who knows Ryan and I there to welcome him home! Turps is Ryan's best friend and was his best man in our wedding! For the day, he was my personal punching bag! If you know me, you know that when I get really excited, with a bit of nerves, I punch people with excitement! Not hard, mean punching, rather, loving, endearing, totally she's crazy punching! And for the record, I was the loudest person on the pier! Go Northern lungs and being on of 6 siblings!!!!

Here it comes!!! That's my baby on that beast!!!

USA & USNavy!!!

The tug is pushing the ship into the pier! This just screams Merry Christmas, he's home!!!

Uncontrollable!!!! Ahhh!! I was beyond giddy! No words can explain the feeling of knowing the love of your life is home sweet home after 7 months of emails, letters and a few phone calls. Relief!

Between these two photos I lost feeling in my toes, ran to the ship, across a bridge and into by baby's arms!

First Kiss & First Hug in 7 months!

The Mr. & Mrs. are back together again!

I love this man so much! Having him home is like a mini honeymoon and a new relationship combined; it's hard to explain, but it's perfect! Sharing life with someone you love is so much better than a life alone.

My Christmas wishes came true a few days early!! Lucky me!

Much love.

Exuding Happiness

I have one purpose in writing this blog and that is...

to let the world know that I am the luckiest girl in the entire world!!!!

I just received 23 letters in the mail from my amazing husband and have only read two, but am beaming from ear to ear! Ryan has such an amazing sense of humor and knows how to make me smile and laugh from thousands of miles away! I love him so much!

The end.

Much love.

I'm in love...

…with SKYPE!!!   and Ryan of course!


Seeing the love of your life after 133 days (yes, I’m counting) is indescribable! Oh my heavens, I cried, I laughed and I just loved seeing his face! He is soooo skinny! I mean, we both had a few pounds to lose, but he has lost a ton and he looks perfect! We kissed through the monitor, we smiled and giggled and danced around and just kept saying how amazing it is to see one another!!!

To see Ryan while talking to him (for the first time in over a month I may add) was a dream come true! Basically, this weekend rocked and I didn’t do anything other than talk to him for 3 to 4 hours a day! Ahhh! I cannot wait for him to come home! I love him so much and I am ever so thankful to the inventors of Skype! It’s pure genius! Now, if only they could create a version of skype that takes up much much much less bandwidth so that we can do this with limited internet connection… million dollar idea? Maybe! If only I was a techy, just this once!  Ok, I know, I can't be selfish, well, I shouldn't be, but I totally am.  I want more lovin time!

Sorry, no pictures because I failed miserably at taking them. I was too  excited to see him that I completely forgot. Oops! I love you Ryan!

Much love.

No. 113

On Friday, I received letter No. 113 from my amazing and ever so sweet husband!  He made it a goal of his to write a letter a day for every day we are apart and he has held true to his promise!  I wrote about the art of letter writing in this post.  (Yay!  I linked a prior post!  There is a first for everything!  Am I an official blogger now?) Anyways, I believe that it is time to dedicate another post to my amazing husband and his attention to my love language through these attempts at being artistic with my oh so old $99 camera from walmart.  I do believe an upgrade is in the works, but as my mama always says, it's to close to the holidays to be buying gifts for yourself; you'll just have to wait and see! In this case it isn't mama saying it, it's me  and I am a stepmama, so I guess it makes perfect sense! 

To be completely frank, I am the luckiest lady in the world to be married to my soulmate, my handsome, red cheeked, blue eyed, goofy, smart and oh so loving husband!  Thank you for your dedication to us!  You are perfect!  Muah!  I love you!

They traveled the world and landed in my hands...

Read over and over again...

Cried on...

Squeezed...

Spread around & photographed...

Neatly stacked and tied in a simple ribbon...

Placed next to bed were my love will one day be with me again...

And cherished forever!

Much love. 

...and tears flowed from thousands of miles away

When I was asked to submit a few photos for ship morale, I got really excited! My mind started going crazy with ideas and then I thought "What would Ryan really like?" With that, my entire goal was to make my husband feel like the luckiest guy in the world to have the love of a sweet little boy and me, his amazing wife! Through the help of some very talented and beautiful people, I was able to give Ryan the gift of the following pictures to which he saw while running on the treadmill, nearly fell off and started tearing up. Mission accomplished, my baby felt our love from thousands of miles away!

All photos of me are courtesy of Chloe Sherman Pepe

The Tradition of Letter Writing is Still Alive

While some may think that letter writing is a dead art, it is still alive and well in my life. I have always been the person who sends a card for birthday and holidays, a thank you note for any gift or special visit, and letters to friends who

have moved away. The gift of receiving a hand written note is something that no electronic message can replace.

Ryan learned this art while we were on our engaged encounter weekend in San Diego. We had to write letters to each other in a journal and while at the time is seemed a bit tedious, it has helped our communication grow stronger. The older couple that ran the weekend told us that they write a letter a day to each other. It is your time to express your thoughts, feelings, frustrations, and accomplishments without interruption. Ryan and I thought this was a little extreme, but now that we don't have any physical communication (and phone calls are extremely limited), we have learned to rely on the written word. While we email as much as we can, we also write a letter a day (or try to write one a day). So far I have received #1 through #21, #34 through#41, and #43 through #45. I have never been so excited to check the mail for a letter! Getting a letter is the highlight of my day/week/month! Just holding something that I know Ryan has touched is absolutely heavenly! I absolutely love that he has adopted the art of letter writing. He is the best husband! I love him dearly!

I really want to do something special with these letters that enables me to read them from time to time. I am thinking a pretty box, but there is a part of me that wants to be a bit more creative. If anyone has any suggestions, please don't hesitate to suggest them!

Apologies for being a delinquent blogger…

This post is going to be all over the place dating back to May 2010. It will cover the weeks before deployment, deployment day, a summer course, baby shower, 4th of July, my best friend’s engagement, and much more! Enjoy reading!
The weeks, especially the week, before Ryan left for deployment, we spent every possible waking second together enjoyed all of life’s little pleasures i.e. eating, golfing, hand holding, kissing, you get the idea! It was glorious and we didn’t focus on the cloud looming over our heads; we just smiled and enjoyed being with one another!

My parents threw a little going away bash for Ryan before he left. It was relaxed bbq in the backyard with close family and it was perfect! Ryan and my brother manned the grill and were studs!

Brother in-laws

Even with working hard at the grill he found time to shower me with kisses!

I love him so much and miss moments like this more than words could ever explain.

xoxoxo

We had fun playing with our niece. At that time she was a crawling machine! Now she is a wobbly walker and is getting cuter by the day! Give Ryan and I a few years and we will have a little one of ours, but he/she will probably have red hair, no eyes, and a tiny booty, but cuter than a button! Hehe!

Crawling to get 'Puppy'!  (Everything is 'puppy' to her!)

A few weeks later...

We went to The Melting Pot for the first time and shared a little nock in the back of the restaurant with a bottle of champagne!

Pre-dinner cuties!

In our nook with our amazing meal! 

We had one of the special dinners for two consisting of a cheese fondue, individual salads, a main course of steak, chicken, shrimp, tuna, pork, dumplings, mushrooms, potatoes, and more, and then we had a flaming turtle chocolate fondue for desert!! (I’m not sure of the exact desert name, but it was something close to that and it was glorious!) We walked out of there feeling like we each gained 15 pounds, but every pound was worth it! The service was exceptional, we weren’t rushed, it was just an amazing evening and we would pay the money for that quality of service time and time again.

Another date night before Ryan left was a Mexican style picnic on Mt. Trashmore in honor of our time in San Diego where we fell in love with Mexican food and our first few weeks in Virginia Beach when we shacked up in a hotel next to Mt. Trashmore.  I know, Mt. Trashmore sounds like a horrible date site, but it is actually quite nice!  It is a park made from an old trash depository and there is a lake, a wooden tree house and a few miles of trails!  We justed goofed off, took pictures and enjoyed the light breeze while cuddling!  It was a very sweet evening! 

Tears were flowing...

"See you soon.  I love you!  Stay safe..."

There are no words to describe the feeling of holding the love of you life for the last time in several months, so I am not going to try to explain it.  All I can say is that I don't wish the pain on my worst enemy.  I love my officer with all my heart and nothing in this world can take that away from me. 

Ryan drove my car to base with me in the passenger seat.  I can't wait until he is in that driver's seat again!  Driving will feel right again!  There was a breakfast on the ship for all family and close friends on the sailors.  It was very nice, but very hard.  Everywhere you turned, you saw little kids and wives either crying or standing tall and trying to be strong.  I failed at the "not crying" thing, but in my opinion, tears are sign of love and strength and not a sign of weakness. 

Before he changed into his whites.  I love him!

I couldn't get enough of him.  Holding back tears.

Ow ow!!  Sexy Babe! 

(This photo was for the daddy doll!)

Ever since time, nothings been found that's stronger than love...

And with a final bear hug and a passionate kiss, we had to part.  I stood on the shore and watched my baby pull away.  Well, I stood and cried until the ship actually started moving and then I ran the length of the pier and waved and cried and wanted nothing more than to jump into the ocean and swim to him. 

Ryan is second from the left and smiling for me!

This ship is slowly moving... :(

This is where I wanted to jump of the pier and swim to him...

You can't see it in this picture, but Ryan's ship is out there.  I, along with other wives, drove to the beach to watch the ship go by one last time.  I can't wait until it's coming the opposite way!!  That day will be a glorious one! 

That day I drove home to Pennsylvania and listened to our wedding CD (and Rush) the entire time.  I did really good at not crying while driving.  The only two times I practically lost it was when Sarah called and when Delia called.  To this day, when someone asks me how I am holding up, I cry.  I seem totally fine until asked that question, so word to the wise, don't ask me, I know you care.   I got home and lost it.

Since that day, I have been working 32 hours a week and enjoying staying busy.  I took an Intermediate Microeconomics course at Temple this summer and did well!  It is a prerequisite for graduate school (hopefully in the fall).  I've lost about 10 pounds since Ryan left and it's not because I am not eating, it is because I had 10 pounds to lose.  Ryan and I both gained weigh while we were living out of hotels and not caring about working out before he left.  I feel much healthier now and plan on staying close to this weight!

The 4th of July was a hard weekend for me.  All the patriotism was amazing, but it was a constant reminder of my baby (not that I am not always thinking of him anyways).  It just made everything a little harder.  On the 3rd, I had one of my best friend's birthday parties which was a lot of fun and then I went down to Penn's Landing with my family and listened to the Philadelphia Orchestra and saw fireworks!  The orchestra was amazing!  They played patriotic songs and then some more traditional songs.  On the 4th, I went to Philly by myself and walked around historic Philadelphia, saw a Tea Party Demonstration (looked like a bunch of our parents sitting around in lawn chairs), wrote a letter to Ryan in Rittenhouse Square and then met up with Delia for a little 4th of July party and then the Goo Goo Dolls and Roots concert on the Parkway!  I left early because Ryan was scheduled to call me...and he did at 11pm!!  It was absolutely perfect!  I love the sound of his voice!  It just makes everything better. 

The Philly Phanatic just puts a smile on my face!  Crazy Thing!

All in all, I promise to be better at blogging!  Please feel free to leave any and all comments! 

Navy Wife's Prayer

Navy Wife's Prayer

Dear Lord, give me greatness of heart to see,

The difference between duty and his love for me.

Give me a task to do each day,

to help pass the time while he is away;

Give me the understanding, so that I may know,

That when duty calls he must go;

And, Dear Lord, when he goes out to sea,

please bring him home safely to me.

~Author Unknown

Pre Deployment Sadness

There is no amount of preparation that can make you ready the love of your life being deployed or for leaving the love of your life for a deployment. Ryan and I are trying to make the most of our last few weeks/months before he leaves, but we still have our days where it hits us and it hits us hard. Holding back tears, thinking of being alone, worrying about his safety, thinking about our future (finding a place to live, starting graduate school, making friends in a new place) are some of the things that have been consuming me. I can tell Ryan is worrying about things as well and that also worries me. Knowing that he has fears and concerns make me all the more upset. When I want to cry, I try to hold the tears back, but my body feels hot, almost out of breath…it’s a feeling I has always gotten when I hold back tears, but it is extremely hard to explain.


I am dreading the deployment with every ounce of my being even though I know that Ryan and I are strong enough to handle it and have a love that will keep us solid. I am already thinking of things to keep me busy – getting furniture to paint for the bedrooms, living room end tables/tv stand/coffee table, making a frame for our bed and a headboard (thanks to HGTV), scrapbooking, making card; I’m looking into jobs, college courses, possible vacations. I know me and I know I need to stay busy to keep from going insane. A summer of tears is not what I am looking for, even if it is what I am feeling right now. I know that there will be plenty of tears, which is to be expected from me i.e. “Mrs. Emotional”, but I am hoping to minimize them as much as possible and stay optimistic, active and super healthy and happy. I need to put effort into showing Ryan my love through old fashioned, traditional methods…letters! (On that note, if anyone knows of any wonderful stationary places, please let me know!)

I am sure there will be many more entries on deployment and I know they are not exactly the most upbeat of entries, but sometimes a girl just needs to write down what’s on her mind to feel a bit lighter.

I love my husband!